Acknowledgments
This book would not have been possible without the love, friendship, criticism, and blessings of many people. The support of James and Marcia Segelstein through the difficult times that preceded its writing has meant very, very much to me, as has their many years of friendship. We live in a part of the country that is largely given over to every fad of modernism; their sound common sense and commitment to traditional values have been a source of constant joy and encouragement to me. I am especially grateful to Marcia not only for her helpful comments on the first complete draft of the book, but especially for the depth of her understanding — and feeling — as well as for her faith, which has been an inspiration.
I asked Edward Nunes, M.D., a research scientist in psychiatric disorders at Columbia University, to evaluate the scientific sections of the book. He did a remarkable job, in far greater depth than I could have hoped for, taking time from his own very busy schedule. I am deeply indebted to him for the tremendous amount of time and energy he put into the task. To my delight, his comments on the nonscientific section proved equally penetrating and helpful. Any remaining errors or deficiencies in the science especially are, of course, entirely my fault.
Stanton Jones, Ph.D., Chairman of the Department of Psychology at Wheaton College, carefully reviewed the entire manuscript. He, too, made numerous suggestions that I have gratefully incorporated wherever possible.
I owe a personal debt of gratitude that can hardly be adequately expressed to the worship team and participants at the Pastoral Care Ministries School in Wichita, Kansas, in October of 1992. Connie Boerner: Not only was a veil lifted, but a spigot was opened as well — and not just of tears, as you experienced, but of another kind of water as well. To the Billings gang, thank you for your warm, open hearts; Glenda Cervantez: You now have all the answers that we still have to struggle along without; we all miss you.
In addition to the power of their lives and their friendship, Clay McLean and Mario Bergner provided extremely helpful information for the ministries section of the book, as did Andrew Comiskey on his own and others’ remarkable work in the healing of sexual brokenness. Mario in particular stands as a model for me of what genuine courage means; more than his explicit contributions to this manuscript I thank him deeply for what he has given me and so many people.
To William Beasley, also of the PCM team: I have observed your quiet courage with enormous admiration. Thank you, too, for the solace and guidance you have provided me. Indeed, all of the members of the PCM team to whom over the past two years I have become so much closer — Rev. Anne Beasley, Dr. John Benson, Rev. Conlee and Signa Bodishbaugh, Patsy Casey, John Fawcett, Artemis Limpert, Jonathan Limpert, Val McIntyre, Rev. Gerry Soviar, Ted and Lucy Smith — my heartfelt gratitude for your love, prayers, support, and great commitment to a truly noble way of life. To John Fawcett, a special thank-you for your improvements to the manuscript in its nearly completed form.
Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D., Charles Socarides, M.D., Benjamin Kaufmann, M.D., and the growing membership of the National Association for the Research and Treatment of Homosexuality were all sources of inspiration for me, and for this book, even before I met them. Not only has their clinical work, scientific research, and professional writing provided a desperately needed dam against the tide of distortion that has flooded into the clinical world, but they, like Mario Bergner on the religious side, stand personally as models of courage. Like him, they have spoken the unpopular truths they believe in the teeth of professional calumny, personal vilification, and even of acts of vandalism and threats of death. To witness, in America, the suborning of a profession’s integrity through the tactics of the early Third Reich — and to understand the price of standing firm — has been an eye- and conscience-opening experience indeed.
I owe a very special debt of gratitude to Leanne Payne. Her own great works have been the inspiration for this small one, as they have been for many others. But more than that, too: for her confidence, vision, unflagging support, deep caring, and especially for her prayers. Her invitation to publish this book under the Hamewith imprint is but one of the many, many kindnesses she has extended to me. And as the publication process of this book has unfolded, these kindnesses have only multiplied. I cannot help but think of the quiet, unsung woman in C. S. Lewis’s The Great Divorce, whose soul, in heaven, is lauded as a queen.
I am deeply impressed, and humbled, by the great skill and devotion brought by Amy Boucher to the task of editing this book. It is a special reward that not only should she be so superb an editor, but that I may now count her as a dear friend. Thank you, too, Peter Edman, for the thankless task of editing and reformatting the numerous scientific references, to which you brought evident care and patience — and considerable humor, too.
Finally, I owe a unique debt to my dear wife, Julie. In addition to being both critic and editor, at once keen and gentle, it was she who provided the tender, ample, protected space within our family life for this book to be germinated and grown and at last delivered.
Every true wife hath an indented heart,
Wherein the covenants of love are writ,
Whereof her husband keeps the counterpart,
And reads his comforts and his joys in it.
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